Be Hard as a Stone Wall but Soft as a Feather: Ep #25

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Be a port of safe harbor, but as tender as a dove

00:10 Hard as a Stonewall, but soft as a feather. That’s what my son came up with yesterday when we were talking about masculinity. He was actually sitting in a meeting that I was having related to my podcast. And he afterwards said, “Hey dad, I’ve got something to show you.” And he said, “this just came to me when you guys were talking about masculinity and your podcast and everything. And that was “To be hard as a stone wall, but soft as a feather.”” And for him, that’s what represented healthy masculinity. And I absolutely loved that. Because hard quote, unquote, “hard as a stone wall”, it means being willing to challenge yourself. If you’re a dad, it means being a protector, a safe haven from the emotional and spiritual storm that is constantly raging around us. To be willing to be hard in those moments. A stone wall, you think about what a stone wall is, right? It is meant to provide protection and safety.

01:16 But if that stone wall ends up going around your heart, then it blocks the ability to be soft as a feather. Because soft as a feather. Well, that means being connected to your heart. Being honest with your emotions. Being willing to be vulnerable with other men. To be honest with God. There’s so much value in being soft as a feather. And I don’t think that you have to trade one for the other. I think that’s where a lot of us men can misapply these truths. Because a healthy man lives in the tension of both. Lives in the tension of understanding it’s okay to embrace your strength. It’s okay to challenge yourself. It’s okay to suck it up, and move on. When you need to. But it’s equally important to be soft as a feather, to be connected to your emotions. To model to other men who are oftentimes just waiting for other men to rise up and have the courage to lead by example on how to be vulnerable. Because a lot of us, we were never taught how to be vulnerable or be connected to our emotions. Even though we all feel them. So today I challenge you. I encourage you. I ask you to be as hard as a stone wall, but as soft as a feather.

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